I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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