she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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