Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
