I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I could fuck to npr.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
