how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie