3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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