I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste