please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
