i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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