Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
