he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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