alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
