You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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