I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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