The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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