There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
