I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
