do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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