We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
