did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I said "one day" and that day is not today
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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