I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
