your thong is hanging out like whoa
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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