guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
