Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

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(281): View more from Texas

I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.

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(817): View more from Texas

I think that's mostly how we became friends.

(1-817): View more from Texas

Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(909): View more from California

It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me

(626): View more from California

And a merry methadone to all

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

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(636): View more from Missouri

She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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(425): View more from Washington

*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow

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