I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Someone shit on the floor
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
