So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
