I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!