if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever