Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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