Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
