There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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