Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
