it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
