He is an equal opportunity slut.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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