It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
