hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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