i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
