I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
