Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize