i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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