i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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