I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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