yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
