No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
