im holly from the hills drunk
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
