Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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