Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
