I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
