My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Let's get the cat blown out
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
