i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
