whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
