People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
