tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
