before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
foreskin is a definite game changer
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize