I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
third nipple confirmed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
