New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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