I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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