can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
