like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
