school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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