Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
